Maybe polyamory is not your jam.
Maybe ambiamory—the ability to enjoy both monogamy and polyamory with little to no preference between the two—is still a bit much.
Maybe monogamish sounds vague to you—or 10% more poly than how you really feel.
But maaaybe, just maybe, the idea of strict lifelong monogamy also doesn’t fully apply to you.
There’s a new term for that: MONOFLEXIBLE!
It’s like the “heteroflexible” version of relationships—you might feel most at home in one style of relating, but you’re not completely opposed to trying something different, if the right circumstances arise.
In my view, monogamy doesn’t have to be all or nothing. There’s a spectrum of relational possibilities between strict monogamy on the one end, and complete non-monogamy on the other.
Monoflexibility is somewhere on that spectrum—closer to the monogamy end, but with room for exceptions. :)
Further, our relational preferences may change over time. There were times in my life where I would have never considered monogamy as a valid option for me; and other times when a “monogamish” relationship was the perfect thing.
Moral of the story: Let’s normalize plurality, fluidity, and going beyond identity binaries!
And of course, we should always operate in integrity, consent, and honesty with ourselves and our partners. And that’s sometimes easier said than done.
Balancing authentic personal expression with the needs and desires of others is not always simple. And that’s why coaches like me exist—to help you navigate the fluid terrain of love and relationship with as much clarity and kindness as possible.
Where does the word MONOFLEXIBILITY come from?
Full disclosure, I thought I was having an original epiphany when this term came to my mind yesterday. But THEN I googled it, and found out I was not actually the first to think of it (duh! has anything NOT been thought of?) Here’s what I found from lgbtqia.wiki:
“The term monoflexible appears to have been coined by Skyspook at an unknown point in order to describe experiences of others. The term appear to have been in use since at least October 7, 2011. The monosexual definition of the word appears to have been coined by arco-pluris on March 10, 2018.”
I don’t know who the original folks who coined it are; they are named by pseudonym, without a link to any other page. If Skyspook and arco-pluris are reading this, THANK YOU and please say hey! ;)
In any case, I hope this word is helpful to you!
I believe in the power of language to help us validate aspects of ourselves that are difficult to fully get in touch with, and fully “own”. I’m passionate about disseminating words that can help portray the complex realities of people’s lives and open up new possibilities in the realm of intimate relationships.
And the beauty of language is that no one OWNS it. It is up to us to create and spread the words we need to describe our truest selves and experiences.
So… PLEASE SHARE with those who might resonate!
With love,
Marie xo
